How True in Golf

Golf Jokes Always concede the fourth putt.

Bunkers have the unnerving habit of rushing out to meet your ball.

Coincidentally the only remaining set of clubs in the professional's shop was made especially for you.

Curing the faults in your swing can never be affected in just one lesson from a professional.

Curly, downhill, left-to-right putts are usually followed by curly, uphill, right-to-left putts.

Delicate chip shots over bunkers always catch the top of the bank and fall back.

During the first round with a brand new set of clubs, the ball has to be played from a road.

Immediately you put on your waterproofs it stops raining.

In a four-ball game, your partner is right on his game while you aren't or vice versa.

In a match, younger golfers always have your do older golfers for that matter.

In a pro-am, you are the last to drive off after your professional and partners have all hit screamers.

In most medal rounds, you start badly then fade away.

It's always the next round that will find you playing your normal game.

Keeping your head down means you'll be looking at a very large divot.

The more you play a course the more obsessed you become with its dangers.

The most important inches in golf are not those between the ears: they are the ones between your ball and the hole on the fourth putt.

The number of practice balls recovered is always less than the number hit.

The only available space in the car park is always furthest from the locker-room.

The only downwind holes are par threes.

The people in front of you are playing too slowly, the people behind you are playing too quickly.

The reserve glove you have kept for wet weather has shrunk.

The sand in the bunkers is never the right texture for your particular technique.

The shorter the putt, the smaller the hole becomes.

The shortest distance between the ball and the target is never a straight line.

Waterproof trousers cannot be removed without falling over.

Whatever the rule for a particular situation, you've probably broken it.

When playing to a temporary green, your ball finishes stone dead to the hole cut in the proper green.


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