Golf is a game in which you yell "fore"... shoot six... and write down five.
~ Paul Harvey |
It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.
~ Hank Aaron |
I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game. It is called an eraser.
~ Arnold Palmer |
The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing.
~ Phyllis Diller |
Golf is a game where the ball always lies poorly and the player always lies well.
~ Anonymous |
I had a wonderful experience on the golf course today. I had a hole in nothing. Missed the ball and sank the divot.
~ Don Adams |
Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.
~ Jim Bishop |
I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.
~ Jeff Foxworthy |
The woods are full of long drivers.
~ Harvey Penick |
When the ducks are walking, you know it is too windy to be playing golf.
~ Dave Stockton |
If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age.
~ Thomas Mulligan |
Someone once told me that there is more to life than golf. I think it was my ex-wife.
~ Bruce Lansky |
Of all the hazards, fear is the worst.
~ Sam Snead |
The most important shot in golf is the next one.
~ Ben Hogan |
The best advice I can give for playing a ball out of water is - don't.
~ Tony Lema |
That putt had more breaks than a government job.
~ Brian Weis |
I can airmail the golf ball, but sometimes I don't put the right address on it.
~ Jim Dent |
Never break your putter and your driver in the same round or you're dead.
~ Tommy Bolt |
The older I get, the better I used to be.
~ Lee Trevino |
Keep close count of your nickels and dimes, stay away from whiskey, and never concede a putt.
~ Sam Snead |
Concentration comes out of a combination of confidence and hunger.
~ Arnold Palmer |
Golf's three ugliest words: still your shot.
~ Dave Marr |
A routine is not a routine if you have to think about it.
~ Davis Love Jr. |
Through the ball we are all the same. We just have different ways of getting it there.
~ Charles Coody |
The golf swing is like a suitcase into which we are trying to pack one too many things.
~ John Updike |
The older you get the stronger the wind gets... and it's always in your face.
~ Jack Nicklaus |
Golf is 20 percent talent and 80 percent management.
~ Ben Hogan |
Never bet with anyone you meet on the first tee who has a deep suntan, a 1-iron in his bag, and squinty eyes.
~ Dave Marr |
This is a game of misses. The guy who misses the best is going to win.
~ Ben Hogan |
A good one iron shot is about as easy to come by as an understanding wife.
~ Dan Jenkins |
I never learned anything from a match that I won.
~ Bobby Jones |
Golf is a better game played downhill.
~ Jack Nicklaus |
The more you play it the less you know about it.
~ Patty Berg |
I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.
~ Bob Hope |
I'm about five inches from being an outstanding golfer. That's the distance my left ear is from my right.
~ Ben Crenshaw |
One thing about golf is you don't know why you play bad and why you play good.
~ George Archer |
It takes hundreds of good golf shots to gain confidence, but only one bad one to lose it.
~ Jack Nicklaus |
Concentrate on hitting the green. The cup will come to you.
~ Cary Middlecoff |
Missing a short putt does not mean you have to hit your next drive out of bounds.
~ Henry Cotton |
The proper score for a businessman golfer is 90. If he is better than that he is neglecting his business. If he's worse, he's neglecting his golf.
~ St Andrews Rotary Club Member |
Baseball reveals character; golf exposes it.
~ Ernie Banks |
Nothing goes down slower than a golf handicap.
~ Bobby Nichols |
Real golfers, no matter what the provocation, never strike a caddie with the driver. The sand wedge is far more effective.
~ Huxtable Pippey |
The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody put a flagstick on top.
~ Pete Dye |
My golf is improving. Yesterday I hit the ball in one!
~ Jane Swan |
You know you're on the Senior Tour when your back goes out more than you do.
~ Bob Bruce |
There are three roads to ruin; women, gambling, and golf. The most pleasant is with women, the quickest is with gambling, but the surest is with golf.
~ Andrew Perry |
Golf is just a game - and an idiotic game most of the time.
~ Mark Calcavecchia |
Talking to a golf ball won't do you any good, unless you do it while your opponent is teeing off.
~ Bruce Lansky |
A golfer has to train his swing on the practice tee, then trust it on the course.
~ Dr Bob Rotella |
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