Saturday, August 15, 2020
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Wrong Club Selection

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For most of the round the golfer had argued with his caddy about club selection, but the caddy always prevailed. Finally on the 17th hole, a 185-yard par three into the wind, the caddy handed the golfer a 4-wood and...

Believe me

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Wife --"Where the hell have you been? You said you'd be done with golf by noon." Husband --"I'm so sorry Honey....but you probably don't want to hear the reason." Wife --"I want the truth, and I want it NOW!" Husband --"Fine. We finished in under 4 hours;...

Play As It Lies

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Bill and Nick, both of equal ability, decide to have a round together and "play it as it lays" on all shots. Both hit their tee shots on the par-5 No.1 hole down the middle and about 260. They...

The Fortune Teller

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Golfer: "Are there golf courses in Heaven" Fortune Teller: "I have good news, and I have bad news..." Golfer: "What's the good news" Fortune Teller: "The good news is that Heaven's golf courses are beautiful beyond anything you could imagine!" Golfer: "How could...
Myself and a fellow caddy recently helped two aged Germans around our course. Failing yet again to get the ball in the air the worst golfer of the pair exclaimed "I suppose you have never seen any player worse than...

Stinky 7 Iron

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A fellow goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, every time I swing my 7 iron I pass this outrageous gas." He swings the iron in the doctor's office and breaks a loud sound of wind. He swings the 8...

Blonde Golfer

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One day a Blonde was walking down the street when the club pro saw her out of the glimpse of his eye and yelled "do you want to play" She replied "no I don't know how to and I don't...
The difference between golf and tennis is that tennis is murder - you just want to kill the other player. Golf is suicide - you just want to kill yourself..."

Lost Golf Ball

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The golfer had lost his ball and was a little annoyed with his caddy. "Why the hell didn't you watch where it went" he asked. "Well sir," said the man, "the last few shots were grounders, so when you did...

Homeless Man Golf Joke

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A successful business man was leaving for work when a homeless man begged him for money. The business man agreed to give the beggar $20 if he answered 2 questions. The man agreed. "First, will you spend this money on alcohol?."...