Below is a list of the most famous golf quotes ever uttered. Enjoy the quote, we hope you find either some inspiration or laughter. Golf is a great game, we hope you share the same enthusiasm.
Golf is a game in which you yell “fore”… shoot six… and write down five.
It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.
I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone’s golf game. It is called an eraser.
The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing.
Golf is a game where the ball always lies poorly and the player always lies well.
I had a wonderful experience on the golf course today. I had a hole in nothing. Missed the ball and sank the divot.
Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.
I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I’d spent about half the day in the woods.
The woods are full of long drivers.
When the ducks are walking, you know it is too windy to be playing golf.
If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age.
Someone once told me that there is more to life than golf. I think it was my ex-wife.
Of all the hazards, fear is the worst.
The most important shot in golf is the next one.
The best advice I can give for playing a ball out of water is – don’t.
That putt had more breaks than a government job.
I can airmail the golf ball, but sometimes I don’t put the right address on it.
Never break your putter and your driver in the same round or you’re dead.
The older I get, the better I used to be.
Keep close count of your nickels and dimes, stay away from whiskey, and never concede a putt.
Concentration comes out of a combination of confidence and hunger.
Golf’s three ugliest words: still your shot.
A routine is not a routine if you have to think about it.
Through the ball we are all the same. We just have different ways of getting it there.
The golf swing is like a suitcase into which we are trying to pack one too many things.
The older you get the stronger the wind gets… and it’s always in your face.
Golf is 20 percent talent and 80 percent management.
Never bet with anyone you meet on the first tee who has a deep suntan, a 1-iron in his bag, and squinty eyes.
This is a game of misses. The guy who misses the best is going to win.
A good one iron shot is about as easy to come by as an understanding wife.
I never learned anything from a match that I won.
Golf is a better game played downhill.
The more you play it the less you know about it.
I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.
I’m about five inches from being an outstanding golfer. That’s the distance my left ear is from my right.
One thing about golf is you don’t know why you play bad and why you play good.
It takes hundreds of good golf shots to gain confidence, but only one bad one to lose it.
Concentrate on hitting the green. The cup will come to you.
Missing a short putt does not mean you have to hit your next drive out of bounds.
The proper score for a businessman golfer is 90. If he is better than that he is neglecting his business. If he’s worse, he’s neglecting his golf.
Baseball reveals character; golf exposes it.
Nothing goes down slower than a golf handicap.
Real golfers, no matter what the provocation, never strike a caddie with the driver. The sand wedge is far more effective.
The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody put a flagstick on top.
My golf is improving. Yesterday I hit the ball in one!
You know you’re on the Senior Tour when your back goes out more than you do.
Golf is just a game – and an idiotic game most of the time.
Talking to a golf ball won’t do you any good, unless you do it while your opponent is teeing off.
A golfer has to train his swing on the practice tee, then trust it on the course.
You swing your best when you have the fewest things to think about.
When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one more club or two more balls.
Half of golf is fun; the other half is putting.
Golf is the only game I know of that actually becomes harder the longer you play it.
Golf is the closest game to the game we call life. You get bad breaks from good shots; you get good breaks from bad shots – but you have to play the ball where it lies.
Golf is 20 percent mechanics and technique. The other 80 pecent is philosophy, humor, tragedy, romance, melodrama, companionship, camaraderie, cussedness and conversation.
It’s so ridiculous to see a golfer with a one foot putt and everybody is saying Shhh” and not moving a muscle. Then we allow nineteen year-old kids to face a game-deciding free throw with seventeen thousand people yelling.”
If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt.
I may be the only golfer never to have broken a single putter, if you don’t count the one I twisted into a loop and threw into a bush.
I enjoy the oohs! and aahs! from the gallery when I hit my drives. But I’m getting pretty tired of the awws! and uhhs! when I miss the putt.
Go ahead and putt, you are not interrupting my conversation.
Do I have to know rules and all that crap? Then forget it. (when asked whether he’d like to join the Royal and Ancient Golf Club, after winning the ’95 British Open at St. Andrews)
There are two basic rules which should never be broken. Be subtle. And don’t, for God’s sake, try to do business with anyone who’s having a bad game.
The only thing you should force in a golf swing is the club back in the bag.
As far as swing and techniques are concerned, I don’t know diddly squat. When I’m playing well, I don’t even take aim.
No one ever swung too slowly.
The golf swing is like sex: you can’t be thinking of the mechanics of the act while you’re doing it.
If you think your hands are more important in your golf swing than your legs, try walking a hole on your hands.
My swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch.
Forget the last shot. It takes so long to accept that you can’t always replicate your swing. The only thing you can control is your attitude toward the next shot.
Many a golfer prefers a golf cart to a caddy because the cart cannot count, criticize or laugh.
When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit.
I don’t exaggerate – I just remember big.
I don’t fear death, but I sure don’t like those three-footers for par.
The most rewarding things you do in life are often the ones that look like they cannot be done.
It’s a funny thing, the more I practice the luckier I get.
I never rooted against an opponent, but I never rooted for him either.
Grip it and rip it. It works for John Daly. It never worked for me. All I did was wear out golf gloves.
Practice puts brains in your muscles.
The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree.
Swinging at daisies is like playing electric guitar with a tennis racket: if it were that easy, we could all be Jerry Garcia. The ball changes everything.
Swing hard in case you hit it.
My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. The rest can never be mastered.
When it’s breezy, hit it easy.
These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow.
A hungry dog hunts best.
You can talk to a fade but a hook won’t listen.
I was three over. One over a house, one over a patio, and one over a swimming pool.
Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And I took a 7 to do that.
The only sure rule in golf is – he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie.
Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you’re not good at them.
You can’t go into a shop and buy a good game of golf.
If some players took a fork to their mouths the way they take the club back, they’d starve to death.
There are no short hitters on the tour anymore – just long and unbelievably long.
One hundred years of experience had demonstrated that the game is temporary insanity practiced in a pasture.
To play golf you need goofy pants and a fat ass.
Real pressure in golf is playing for $10 when you’ve only got $5 in your pocket.
Golf is the hardest game in the world. There is no way you can ever get it. Just when you think you do, the game jumps up and puts you in your place.
Fame is addictive. Money is addictive. Attention is addictive. But golf is second to none.
Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.
I don’t like to watch golf on television because I can’t stand people who whisper.
My wife, she still gives me a hard time, and says I hunt too much or I like to play golf too much. And she’s probably right, but it sure beats some of the things I used to do.
There is no similarity between golf and putting; they are two different games, one played in the air, and the other on the ground.
Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, you’re the best.
A kid grows up a lot faster on the golf course. Golf teaches you how to behave.
Golf is the most useless outdoor game ever devised to waste the time and try the spirit of man.
Golf is a puzzle without an answer. I’ve played the game for 40 years and I still haven’t the slightest idea how to play.
Golf is the only sport that a professional can enjoy playing with his friends.
I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.
Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness.
Don’t play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty.
The only thing a golfer needs is more daylight.
The uglier a man’s legs are, the better he plays golf. It’s almost a law.
I never pray on a golf course. Actually, the Lord answers my prayers everywhere except on the course.
If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play at it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf.
While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.
‘Play it as it lies’ is one of the fundamental dictates of golf. The other is ‘Wear it if it clashes’.
My golf game’s gone off so much that when I went fishing a couple of weeks ago my first cast missed the lake.
The greens are harder than a whore’s heart [Winged Foot Golf Club, New York]
There is no such thing as natural touch. Touch is something you create by hitting millions of golf balls.
The older you get, the easier it is to shoot your age.
May thy ball lie in green pastures, and not in still waters.
That divot is so deep, I will need a sod cutter to fix it.
Never take a mulligan on a par 3. A hole in three” is not a fun story to relive.”
I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.
Give me the fresh air, a beautiful partner, and a nice round of golf… and you can keep the fresh air and the round of golf.
You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.
I’m not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they’d come up sliced.
These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow.
If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.
Bad Sausage and five bogeys will give you a stomach ache every time.
The first time I played the Masters, I was so nervous I drank a bottle of rum before I teed off. I shot the happiest 83 of my life.
After all these years, it’s still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.
Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick.
Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose.
Practice puts brains in your muscles.
Swinging at daisies is like playing electric guitar with a tennis racket: if it were that easy, we could all be Jerry Garcia. The ball changes everything.
Golf is the hardest game in the world to play and the easiest to cheat at.
I was asked by a golfer how to lower his scores. I replied start playing 9 holes instead of 18. I worked for me, it cut my scores in half.
Golf is like smoking, I have been trying to quit for years.
(Heard mumbling to himself while counting his score after putting off the green) I was on in two…. then again on four…
(When asked how the putt breaked) It breaks towards the center of the earth when it is above the hole.
Forget your opponents; always play against par.
Nobody asked how you looked, just what you shot.
Until you play it, St. Andrews looks like the sort of real estate you couldn’t give away.
Of all the hazards, fear is the worst.
The mark of a great player is in his ability to come back. The great champions have all come back from defeat.
You’ve just one problem. You stand too close to the ball after you’ve hit it.
Grip the club as if you were holding a baby bird.
Golf got complicated when I had to wear shoes and begin thinking about what I was doing.
Practice your swing until it becomes a habit of mind and muscle.
Competitive golf is played mainly on a five-and-a-half-inch course… the space between your ears.
The real way to enjoy playing golf is to take pleasure not in the score, but in the execution of strokes.
The toughest opponent of all is Old Man Par. He’s a patient soul who never shoots a birdie and never incurs a bogey. And if you would travel the long road with him, you must be patient, too.
I can play the game only one way. I must play every shot for all there is in it. I cannot play safe.
If ever I needed an eight foot putt, and everything I owned depended on it, I would want Arnold Palmer to putt for me.
Rhythm and timing are the two things which we all must have, yet no one knows how to teach either.
In golf, the customs and etiquette and decorum are as important as the rules of play.
Many shots are spoiled at the last instant by efforts to add a few more yards.
Winners see what they want. Losers see what they don’t want. Don’t let the game eat you; you eat the game.
What’s the longest walk in golf? It’s from the practice tee to the first tee. I don’t care if it’s 10 yards. It’s the longest walk in golf. Winners take their swing with them. Losers don’t.
I only see what I want to see. Winners see winning, Losers see losing. You are what you think you are.
If you want to win, but think you can’t, it’s almost certain that you won’t.
Don’t say I gotta do anything in life. There is nothing you gotta do. But I want to.
Golf isn’t supposed to be work. It’s to have fun.
Every time I hit a shot, I feel like I am shaking hands with the flag stick.
Every day that you don’t practice is one day longer before you achieve greatness
The most important shot in golf is the next one.
Reverse every natural instinct and do the opposite of what you are inclined to do, and you will probably come very close to having a perfect golf swing.
The only thing a golfer needs is more daylight.
Placing the ball in the right position for the next shot is eighty percent of winning golf.
There are no shortcuts in the quest for perfection.
Your name is the most important thing you own. Don’t ever do anything to disgrace or cheapen it.
Golf is 20 percent talent and 80 percent management.
Golf is not a game of good shots. It’s a game of bad shots.
The ultimate judge of your swing is the flight of the ball.
A shot that goes in the cup is pure luck, but a shot to within two feet of the flag is skill.
Control is the main thing, and the tee shot is the most important shot in golf. You’ve got to hit the fairway before you have a good chance of putting the ball close to the pin. You can be the greatest iron player in the world, but if you’re in the boondocks it won’t do you any good.
I hate a hook. It nauseates me. I could vomit when I see one. It’s like a rattlesnake in your pocket.
People have always been telling me what I can’t do. I guess I have wanted to show them. That’s been one of my driving forces all my life.
If I have a swing, I have a shot.
It’s about hitting the ball in the center of the club face and hitting it hard.
I don’t care about a golfer. I don’t care about getting better as a golfer. I want to be better as a person.
I’ve never had a dream go this far, so I can’t really say it’s a dream come true.
I’m a redneck. And we can wear whatever because we just really don’t care about those things. And when you’re a redneck named Bubba, you really don’t care.
I don’t play the sport for fame. I don’t try to win tournaments for fame. I don’t do any of that. It’s just me. I’m just Bubba. I goof around. I joke around. I just want to be me and play golf.
Everybody can see that my swing is homegrown. That means everybody has a chance to do it.
I am uncomfortable with heights, I’m scared of the dark and I am scared of big crowds.
